After the fitful nights sleep, we started our day not so refreshed but ready to have an adventure. First, we hit the breakfast buffet for a little nourishment to help us through the days activities. The buffet is ok. Nothing to write home about. After several days we all figured out the fruit and cottage cheese was the safest bet. Every morning on the buffet is this white slice of ‘something’. The card above it declares it to be turkey meatloaf. Yuck. For breakfast? Doesn’t look like meatloaf and as I’ve said before, if I don’t know what it is………I don’t eat it! Well, this particular morning, Peggy was feeling a little ornery and proceeded to convince Jordan to try it. Pay back, I’m sure. Personally, I honestly didn’t think he would fall for it. But, when he sits down after perusing the breakfast fare…….the idiot has it on his plate. Firstly, it nasty looking! What could possibly give a cook this idea? He cuts a small piece, takes a deep breath and PUTS IT IN HIS MOUTH! Now, I’m ready with an empty plate because I know this isn’t going to work! He starts to chew and this strange look comes to his face. He pushes it to the other side and tries to chew it again. You can see the internal struggle going on in his head. Should he swallow, spit, barf, what? Miraculously, he swallows and it stays down. Bleh! Needless to say, he doesn’t finish his turkey meatloaf. Now, Peggy can barely stay in her seat she’s laughing so hard. Me? Well…….you know me!
Now, after our, ahem, breakfast of champions, we make our way off the boat and hit a few shops. But, our mission for today, is to find the crystal blue waters of the Cozumel coast. We saw them as we came into port. We know they’re there! Dammit! After much haggling, we find a taxi that promises us crystal waters, pristine beach, clean bathrooms and………..first drink free! Woohoo! So, we all pile in to this taxi like lambs to slaughter. Trusting, innocent. WHAT WERE WE THINKING? We pull in and pay our beach rental fee………keeps the undesireables away, says the taxi driver. Wow! Must be really nice if they’re culling the herd. We make our way towards the pristine beach, looking forward to that free drink and crystal blue waters. Well………….the beach? Not so pristine. In fact, it was so packed with people you could barely see the sand! Crystal blue waters? Between the hordes in the water and the jet skies that we’re being rented 5 feet away, the water looked like chocolate milk! And the free drink? Ha! Turns out, it was a free shot. That’s it. Talk about the straw that broke the donkeys back! (Mexico. Donkey. Get it?) Well, we tried to order beers and a couple of waters but, the little waiter stuck his nose in the air and stomped away across the ‘pristine beach’. We cross our fingers and hope he takes pity on these poor unfortunate lambs and brings us our libations. While we wait we decide, what the hell. It ain’t crystal blue, but it’s water and we’re hot! We carefully wade through the muck and bodies out to the deeper and somewhat clearer water. In this little strip of water that belongs to this place, there’s at least 10 of those blowup slides and climbing walls. No! I didn’t try to climb the wall! Jordan swam over to it, look up then swam back. No, he wasn’t going to try it. After much grunting and pulling we did finally get on one of the floating rafts. Our entertainment was a family of at least 8 trying to climb the wall so they could slide down. Not many made it. Jordan looks over with that superior look on his face that says he made the right decision. Now, we floated and swam for just a little while then Jordan announces he has to find the ‘clean’ bathrooms. Who knows what they’re going to look like. But Peggy and Holly tell him to just go in the ocean. The look of horror on his face was hilarious! In the water? Right here? What will people think? He then tells us he’s never gone in the water? Peggy explains…….’the fish do it!’ But……….
Well, after much coaching, he does it. I explain that he really shouldn’t make that face if he doesn’t want everyone to know what he’s doing! It was priceless! A kodak moment if I could’ve figured out how to make it work! Another first for Jordan! Yay! Peggy and I are such ‘good’ influences on little Jordan!
Soon, we realize the little waiter really isn’t going to bring us our drinks, so we climb out of the crystal water, trudge back up the pristine beach through the hordes of people and find our clean bathrooms. And turn around and walk out of our ‘clean’ bathrooms! Jeez! We may need those shots after all! We finally find an outdoor shower and rinse off the smell of gasoline from all the jet skies and head back to find a taxi back to the ship. As we wait in line for a taxi, we see all these other innocents climbing out in search of crystal blue water. We reach out to give them warning. But, hey! Why deprive them of this treat? This oasis? This paradise?
I know! I know! Payback is a bitch! Karma and all that. But, I’ve got to have something else to write about, don’t I?
