Today we head to the Black River and the YS waterfall. We are fed a wonderful breakfast, then told to get our things together like good little campers so we can head off. They fill the van with beer, wines, champagne, vodka and soft drinks. And then the picnic basket! OMG! The picnic basket! It’s filled with Anna Kay’s famous fried chicken. Think KFC, but way better. She filled this container with these heavenly delights, but they disappeared way too fast. Now, we pile into the van and head off to be tourists! We’ve actually never done this before. Something new and fun. After a bumpy ride we arrive at the Black River boat tour. Now, we start getting a little skeptical. Is this going to be one of those cheesy rides? Nope! Did you know they have crocodiles in Jamaica? Well, they do! Big ones! Our guide Faith, tells us all about the different plants and birds and then starts calling the crocs! These silly things come like dogs waiting for a treat? This one particularly large one, Joe I think, Faith kisses on his snout! I try to remind him of the Aussie that thought crocs were his friend, but he just smiled at me and kept smooching. I’m reminded of an old saying, “Meddle thee not in the affairs of Dragons. For thou art crunchy and would be tasty with ketchup”. We leave Faith with a handshake and a wish that he keep all of his fingers and search for Maurice, the van and BEER! We climb back in the van for the next leg of our journey. THE FRIED CHICKEN! Oh, and the waterfalls. I’m telling you, that chicken was calling to us. We turn off the road and it looks like we’re heading into horse country. Pastures of green grass, big herds of fat cattle and horses. Kitty said that she read this area was known for raising prime horses. They certainly look fat and happy. I’m reminded of my pasture poodles back home and a small tear escapes my eye. Sniff, sniff. Ok, I’m alright. I think I can continue. Where was I? Oh yeah, CHICKEN!
We pull in to the visitors center and transfer our pack to the trailer being pulled by a tractor. Did someone grab the chicken? We’re off! At first it’s just pastures then all of a sudden we’re in these monster trees. I’m talking HUGE! With these vines as big around as your arm!
When we stop, and it reminds me of Burger’s Lake back in good ole FTW. Maurice asks us if we want to swim first or eat. Did he say eat? The chicken? Charge! Get outta my way! That chicken has been calling me for the past 2 hours! Cold fried chicken and beer. Is there anything better, I ask? I still can’t quite figure out how they cut up these chickens. But, who the hell cares! they’re awesome! Now, the waterfalls. We can hear them roaring in the distance. As we get closer I start to see this daunting sight! STAIRS!!!! Noooooo! Yes. We have to climb to get to the pool at the falls. This is going to hurt. So, up we go. The amazing Paul was the only one of us to attempt the rope swing. Twice! Our falls guide, Ninja, giggles as he takes pictures of these out of shape people huffing up the stairs. Personally, I’m about ready to smack the smile of his cute little face if he shows me another set of stairs I have to climb. Now, we get to the zip line. These are fun. Paul and I rode one in Hawaii and had a blast. I lovingly gaze at this heavenly sight. Zip line! I won’t have to climb back down! Yes! there is a god! But, Ninja says, “no, you have to climb back down, sign the forms, get your gear then climb back up to ride”. What? I told you, I’m getting ready to smack me some Ninja. Pretty Kitty says she will gladly run down the steps, sign all the papers and bring me my gear. Ninja starts to balk at this but by this time the big guys of the group surround him and convince him that this is the best route to take. No one want to see a Ninja slapping. So, they all traipse back down the stairs and little old me sits tight, after many ‘sit and stay’ commands by my peeps. They think they’re so funny. Dog humor. Really? Well, I guess I was getting a little bitchy. Oh well, at least I don’t have to climb anymore stairs! So, I wait. And wait. And I’m getting chewed on by Jamaican Mosquitos! I keep chanting ‘ Don’t worry, be happy’ but I’m starting to get a little light headed from the blood loss. Finally they get back. With our zipper guides Mario and Dillon. Funny guys. And Pretty Kitty is going to zip with us! Yeah! She had pretty much insisted that she wouldn’t be joining us because of her fear of heights. But, she has decided to take the plunge, so to speak. Fun was had by all.
Another bumpy ride back to the villa in time for a little nap before sunset. Yesss!
Sunset and cocktails. There’s nothing better. Jamaica does have some beautiful sunsets. Dinner was seafood Newburgh with fried rice and carrot cake for dessert with cream rum, of course. And maybe a little more cream rum. Life is good.
About Holly Kiehn
