Belize-The Trip Home

Ah, the trip home. As we get ready we find out it’s 34 at home and snowing. Crap. When we came on this trip the extended forecast for DFW said it was going to be cloudy and 60. This is not good. Nobody packed for this. Here we go again.

We join our merry little band of travelers on the way to the airport on our little island. The puddle jumper flight back to the mainland! Now this little jaunt above the waves on our way out here was a blast. This time………not so much. Except for Peggy, that is. Mark had done a little on the sly negotiations with the porters at the airport and got her a ride in the co-pilots seat! She was smiling and giggling the whole flight back. Truthfully, seeing that smile and the joy that was showing on her face made the bumpy ride tolerable. You could just tell she was having the time of her life. Randy……..not so much. As we land we realize we didn’t allow enough time to get through immigration and security! And more importantly, we won’t have time to shop before our flight. Oops. Again, I see Mark over to the side huddled with the porters. Hmm. Not sure whats going on there. After we check our luggage we then proceed to this extremely long line to go through immigration. This is not looking good. And neither is Randy. He’s trying to keep a smile on his face but, you can see he’s not comfortable. We’re still waaaaay back in the line when we notice it’s time to start boarding our plane! De Plane! De Plane!! Don’t let De Plane leave without us!!!!! Out of nowhere the porters come to the rescue. They come over to Mark and proceed to take our group to the front of the line, get us through immigration, then to the front of the line at security. Wow! All this time and I never knew that Mark was a porter whisperer. He rather proudly announces “I know how to get through airports”. I have a feeling there’s a story there but right now we gotta get on De Plane! As we leave security and head to the gates, we see our flight is boarding our group. Whew! Talk about your perfect timing. Maybe it was all that charitable giving we did  yesterday back at the villa. Maybe it was a little  island saying “we have no more liquor, now you must go”, maybe it was the mysterious gift of Mark “THE PORTER WHISPERER”. Who knows. All I know is that I’m glad to be headed home. Our little group is ready. To show you just how ready this group was…………not one alcoholic beverage was consumed on our flight home. Now, that’s saying something, right there! Randy, thankfully has fallen asleep during the flight. Actually, we’re all starting to get a little worried. He has decided once we land they’re not going home. They’re going to the Urgent Care Clinic to find out just what is going on. Now as we taxi toward our gate we can see all the snow and ice on the tarmac. And the pilot announces that we’ll have to be towed to the gate. And of course, we landed on the opposite side of the airport. Don’t you hate that? It takes forever to get all the way back around to the other side. Ugh! I know, I’m starting to get a little cranky but, COME ON! Finally, we’re allowed to get off and hike through a ton of hallways to get the nice little people in their glass boxes to let us back in the country. Everybody smile! ‘Yes, we had a wonderful time. Yes, I know it’s snowing outside. YES! I KNOW I SHOULD’VE PACKED A PAIR OF JEANS AND TENNIS SHOES!!!!!’ Thank you, very much!!! smart ass… As we make our way to get our cars we notice all the odd looks from people in parkas and boots. Hey! I got a tan! And, I lost weight WHILE I was on vacation. And I didn’t even try! So, there. We walk outside and….WHAM! No I’m Fine. Really. It’s a little cool here, isn’t it? Walk faster! Walk Faster! I thought I handled that very well. Very in control, calm. JEEZ! Heater!!!!!!! We wave good-bye to our travel buddies and tell Randy to feel better. By the green look on his face, I don’t think that’s going to happen anytime too soon. But, at least they’re on the way to the doctor. Hope he’s ok.  Paul and I head out of the airport and point the car west towards HOME! We get thru HEB and Fort Worth without too much trouble. A couple of bridges were a little dicey but with Paul Andretti at the wheel I have nothing to fear. As we get into Parker County the roads start to get a little worse. Apparently, west got a whole lot more ice and snow than east. Oh well, there’s quite a few cars on the roads so it must not be too bad. As we exit we start to think this may not work out. Our little FM 5 is really icy, plus it has those tight turns and inclines and declines. Where’s a reindeer when you need one? When we get to the gate of our neighborhood it’s pretty obvious that not many people have been driving on it. Paul inches his way along the road……nearly looses it a couple of times………but we make it to the gate at our driveway. Now, here he just stops and decides he should investigate before he attempts to drive up our steep, windy, 400 yd long driveway. (What were we thinking?) He very carefully gets out of the car and gets his golf shoes out of the trunk and a wind jacket (thank goodness) and proceeds to ‘check it out’. Yep. Fell on his butt. Now, most of you know Paul. Tall, good-looking and all legs. As I’m sitting in the warmth of the car, sipping on my DP and munching on some fries I watch my wonderful hubby try to make it through the gate. Dinner and a show! He’s take  step and slide backwards 3 ft. After a couple of attempts he comes back to the car and says “you won’t be able to make it”, (trust me. I wasn’t even going to try)” you wait here and I’ll go up and get your jumpsuit and boots. Maybe the tractor will start and I can use that.” Oh, this is going to be fun……I quickly tell him I love him and to take his phone and call if he breaks something. Not that I could do anything about it, but I don’t want him to think I don’t care. Right? Now, I get to watch him slip and slide and fall up the driveway. I can’t help it but I’m laughing like crazy!!!! It’s just so……………………..what’s the word? Perfect. Now I know you’re saying, “No, that’s not the right word”, but when it comes to our travel adventures, trust me. It’s perfect. Why do these idiotic things always happen when we travel? After about 30 minutes he finally calls and tells me he made it to the house.  He’s a comin! Finally I see a light coming my direction. There he is! My knight in shining armor! Actually it’s Carhart brown, but who care! Now he’s not really walking, it looks like skating or ice surfing. I’m not really sure. All I care about is he made it. Now comes the tricky part. Yep, getting me in my suit and boots and up that nasty hill. Luckily poor Jordan had left a trail of footsteps for us to follow most of the way. Bless his heart, his parents had to drive out to get him and they couldn’t get up the drive. So, he had to walk down with all his clothes and bags. Sorry, bestie! Hey, you wanted to get iced in. Now these tracks don’t take us the whole way. Nooooooo. We have to march ourselves up there on our own. In the dark. We had to have looked like idiots marching up that hill, slamming our heels into the ice to try and get a foothold. At one point I’m thinking we may have to get on our hands and knees and grab whatever vegetation’s sticking up out of the ice to pull ourselves along. It was exhausting. It was hilarious! We couldn’t stop laughing! This could only happen to us! After much falling, laughing and peeing of pants……..we made it. We look out on to this frozen tundra. WOW! Who left the freezer door open? We leave for one week and this is what happens??? My tanned face starts to wondering what the heck is going on? 8 hours ago we were on a beach, basking under the sun and now this????? What the hell? Well, what can I say? It’s just another “Less Than Perfect Adventure for Paul and Holly! But, Thats why you’re here, right?

Oh, and just for your info……..big brother, the one with the pain in his………..gut. Well, it wasn’t his ribs. It was his Gall Bladder. Gone now. What can I say. Some people just keep on giving..Like I said before………That Montezuma is one vengeful little shit.

What’s in store next, you ask? Well, I’m heading for Denver in just a few hours……………………………………..What could possibly go wrong? It’s just a short little flight.

No problem, right?